


Daughter of the Air

by Five_seas



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 17:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20679506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Five_seas/pseuds/Five_seas
Summary: Summary: While out on a rogue mission, Rey finds herself captured by Hux of the First Order. Instead of bringing her in, however, he offers her a deal: if she helps him throw his rival out of grace with Snoke, he would help her find information on her parents. Rey accepts, even though she knows a duel with Kylo Ren - be it physical or mental, could end badly for her. What she doesn’t expect is that she would want to save him from the trap she helps set up.Originally written for the Reylo fairytale anthology, little mermaid retelling. Reposted from tumblr and my ff account.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

She woke up chained to a table. Again.

Rey closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she tried again. Nope. This wasn’t a dream. And judging from the pounding in her head and the nausea at the back of her throat, she’d been captured before she’d so much as had a chance to fight. 

Ignoring the voice inside her head, telling her that for a Jedi-in-training she sure got captured a lot, Rey surveyed her surroundings. Her table was in a small room, smaller than the one in the Starkiller base, where Kylo Ren had first interrogated her. She was either on a small ship, or in some kind of midway base. The air was rank. Like one too many people had been broken here and nobody had bothered to clean. 

Once she exhausted her normal senses, Rey turned to the Force, reaching for it as Master Luke had been teaching her, trying to get a better feel for where she was and who she was with… and there was nothing. 

Her headache grew, as she tried again, and again, and again. She took a slow breath, held it for four seconds, exhaled for eight. Nothing. She brought her heartbeat as down as she could, and still, there was no connection, not even a hint of it. It was as though the Force was gone completely.

No. No way. This isn’t happening.

Rey hadn’t been truly in touch with the Force for a long time, but she had felt it, in some degree or another, since she was a very little girl. To reach out to it and find nothing, it shook her to the core. It was like— it was like—

It was like being abandoned all over again.

Stop. She ordered herself, fighting against the panic. Stop right now. You can’t afford to lose your head.

She did not survive on Jakku for over a decade only to die like this. The Force was in every living thing. It was the fabric of the universe itself. It didn’t just get up and walk away. If she couldn’t sense it, Rey thought, then it was because something was obstructing her access.

Closing her eyes, she expanded her awareness, probing the nothing for any gaps, any giveaways. If Kylo Ren had found a way to exploit their link, to make her weak, then he would surely have left some mark behind. But she still couldn’t feel a thing, and her aches and pains were becoming more and more prominent. And she really, really needed the bathroom.

It was time for old school methods. 

They’d taken her lightsaber, but she was still wearing the same clothes she had when she left the Resistance base… was it this morning? Or had a full day passed already? She added this to the list of things she would figure out later, and she tried angling herself on the table, tried to bring her hips closer to her right hand. 

“Looking for these?” someone said, holding out her lock picks right in front of her eyes. Rey jumped. She hadn’t heard them approach at all. 

But it wasn’t Kylo Ren she heard. This was someone else. 

The man walked around, keeping himself in the shadows until he was right in front of her. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing the uniform of a First Order commander, but there was no weapon on his belt. Not even a standard issue laser. 

“Let me go,” Rey ordered, throwing as much of her will into the command as possible. “Now.”

“No.”

“Give me back my things, then.”

“I don’t think so,” the man said, and then pulled a chair out of somewhere, plonked it down, and sat. “I wouldn’t force the Jedi mind trick, if I were you. Too much effort for no gain. But if you insist…”

Rey focused on him as hard as she could. Unfortunately, the more she did, the more her headache grew, until she had spots dancing in front of her eyes, and her stomach cramped. Had she eaten anything, she probably would have thrown it all up.

“Yes,” the man said. “You should listen to me more often. It’ll make this a whole lot better.”

“Who are you?” Rey asked. “What are you?”

He smiled. “It drives you mad, doesn’t it? Not knowing. Having someone have the upper hand. You thought you left that all behind on Jakku, didn’t you, Rey.”

Her hands balled up into fists. Oh, if only he untied her, she would show him exactly what she could do! But that wouldn’t happen - he’d planned this too well. He’d made sure he’d control the entire encounter, and the more she fought back, the more she played into his hands. 

So instead, she thought. The Resistance had some data on most of the First Order high command, and pictures of those on top. Of course, Kylo Ren made the most appearances, since he often led strike teams, but they did have a shot of him with another man, of the same rank, arguing. “You’re Hux,” she said at length. Several more puzzle pieces fell together. “You’re resistant to the Force.” 

“Did you just figure this out, or does your little organization know that already? Actually, it doesn’t matter,” he says, before she can respond. “They did a terrible job at training you to protect yourself, either way. We had you captured in no time, and you exhausted yourself trying to fight me there.” He tsked. “Tell me, why does the Resistance’s finest fly on her own without an escort, or even a decent stealth shield?”

She didn’t respond. This was just heckling, an attempt to destabilize her.

Hux waited for another minute, before rising. “Perhaps you’re too tired to chat right now. That’s alright. I can come back in a bit.”

“Wait,” Rey said, and then wondered - what do I even want from this guy? “I need to use the bathroom.”

“I’m sure you do. We have a lovely vent right above the toilets that leads straight to the docking bey,” Hux said. “Unfortunately, you will have to make do with the facilities right here. Enjoy.” 

And then he left her, shutting the lights on his way out. 

*

There was no way to tell the time, no way to know if hours or days or weeks had passed. Eventually, Rey’s nausea and headache subsided, and she managed to calm herself down enough to rest. And think.

Unfortunately, her thoughts weren’t very happy ones. Every time she tried to retrace her steps, she found something new to beat herself up about. Why hadn’t she put her shields up? Why hadn’t she chosen a better ship for her excursion? Better yet, why had she left on her own at all, without telling anybody? For the first time in an age, she had people who cared about her whereabouts and wellbeing, and she deliberately left them out of the loop. How could she be so stupid? So foolish?

And yet, at the same time, it was like the perfect series of events had lined up, leading her here, to this moment, this ship, this table. Moping won’t save you, she reminded herself. There was nothing she could do with what she had at present, so she had to wait and gather information and use it to her advantage.

She discovered fairly quickly that, while her holding cell was sub-par, her captors had taken precautions specifically designed to keep her from escaping. Hux was the only one who visited her, and whatever powers he had about resisting the Force, he had managed to extend them to the entire room, cutting her completely off. Hux was also the only one who tended to her, even if, as a commander, such a job was below him. He inserted an IV line into her arm to keep her from becoming dehydrated and hosed her down when she soiled herself, but other than complain about how annoying the task was, he didn’t speak to her, let alone attempt an interrogation.

Throughout all this, she wondered where Kylo Ren was. Surely the man wouldn’t resist coming to gloat over her, or at least try to convert her to the Dark Side again. 

Don’t let your guard down, she thought. Be patient. 

If only she’d been patient before. Maybe she wouldn’t be in this mess.

Three times Hux changed her IV bag. Three times he worked in near-silence. The fourth, she asked him where his friend was. “I would have thought he’d enjoy seeing you play nurse,” she said.

Hux laughed. “You know him well, then, little temptress. He would get a real joy out of this, and he doesn’t have much of that. Unfortunately, we would have to deprive him of the pleasure.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, narrowing her eyes. “What is this all about?”

He made to leave, and then, seemingly changing his mind, pulled up his chair again and sat opposite her. “Are you ready to listen?” he asked softly.

Rey gave him a weary look. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” she asked.

“On the contrary. You can fight me. From what I’m told, you’re not half-bad at a verbal spar. Ah—” he smiled “—but you’re tired. A diet of saline liquid and no sleep will do that to a person. Apologies.” 

She waited. 

“You’re not very well versed in interrogation techniques, are you?” Hux asked. “This is usually the part where most prisoners get chattier.”

“We don’t torture people for information in the Resistance,” Rey said.

“Neither does the First Order. Well, when I’m in charge, anyway. Kylo Ren gets his results faster by plucking them straight out of people’s heads, but I must admit, I find his technique lacks finesse.” 

“Finesse or not, I’m strapped to a table, without food or a chance to stretch my legs,” Rey said. “I don’t see how the two of you are any different.”

“You’re wrong there, little temptress.” Hux leaned forward in his chair. “The restraints are a simple security measure for a not-so-simple captive. I would dispense with them, but I would like to be heard out, and I don’t think you’re amiable to do that.

“But I’m getting ahead of myself. Yes, Kylo Ren has his own way of doing interrogations, but I find I get better results by just talking to you. Explaining your situation, figuring out what you want. Maybe we can reach a compromise. In your case, however, I’m pretty sure we won’t need to negotiate.”

Slowly, she stared to understand. “You want to make a deal with me?”

“Why, I think she gets it.”

“You’re a moron,” Rey said. “I’ll never betray the Resistance. You’d be better off killing me right now and saving yourself the trouble.”

“So hasty,” Hux said. “I’m not particularly interested in your information about the Resistance. From what I can gather, they keep you out of the loop as much as any third-rate pilot in their fleet. No, little temptress, you have more valuable talents than as an informant.”

“Enough. Why are you calling me that?” Rey snapped.

“Isn’t that what they called you? Or has it been so long that you forgot?” 

She felt the blood rush into her head, the fury betraying her. But it had been a long time. She’d had new nightmares now, nightmares that were far worse than her years on Jakku. She hadn’t gone back to those memories in years, and now there was Hux, throwing it all in her face. 

“Cheeks the color of sunset. No wonder he finds you so irresistible.”

“How did you find that out?” 

“What? Your past?” Hux snorted. “Sorry to disappoint you, but there are living people on Jakku who still know you. A few greased palms here and there, and hey presto, you get all the information you need. See, this is why I don’t appreciate Kylo Ren’s approach to interrogations. He doesn’t give a toss about what people think, so long as they’re afraid. I find making friends to be much more profitable.”

“You sure like to compare yourself favorably to him.”

“I’m stating a fact. I’m very good with information, which is why you will want to help me.

“You see, I know you and he have a connection. Some sort of shared bond. I’d like to bring you with me to the First Order base, so that you can use it and weaken him.”

Rey waited. Then, when he didn’t continue, she burst out laughing. 

“Does that surprise you?” he asked.

“Why,” she said, “would I ever want to do that? I might just as easily escape and burn your entire order down to the ground.”

“But you won’t, will you?” Hux said. “You won’t, because you hate Kylo Ren, and you would relish the opportunity to take him down. Admit it, Rey. You would have been happy to go back to Jakku, back to that sham of a life you lived, if he hadn’t given you something to hate. You train to become a Jedi so that you can take him down.

“But you’re not strong enough yet. And that drives you up the wall, because while you’re learning the basics, he’s out there, ruining more lives.”

“Even if that were true,” Rey said, “why would I agree to help you?”

“Well, for one thing, because I’ll let you live afterward,” Hux said. “Mind you, I could just as easily let you starve to death here and then bring your body to Snoke, and get favor that way. You know I’m a patient man. But I think we can work better together. I can give you information that you will find useful.”

“More information about my childhood?” Rey laughed. “I can remember Jakku well enough on my own.”

“But can you remember the time before?” Hux asked. And that cut her laughter short. He stood. “Have a think about it, Rey. There’s always a choice.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

Rey fell asleep in the torture chamber, but when she opened her eyes next, it was to a brightly lit room with no windows or doors. She was no longer bound, and there was even actual food laid out for her. She rolled on her knees and tried to rise, but her head span too much. 

What am I doing? 

The answer was prompt. Surviving.

Even if she still wanted to wipe that smirk off Hux’s face, she recognized that she was a disadvantage. He’d snuck up on her when she hadn’t noticed him and ever since then, he’d had her bound and underfed and constantly alert. She was in no condition to fight or to escape. She hoped she might be able to do something when they moved her, but they had managed to keep her knocked out for the duration of the trip.

And now here she was, presumably at the heart of the First Order, where, Hux assured her, she would not be able to escape without help.

It was time to test out that theory. 

Carefully, she started moving around her room, first low to the ground, then higher and higher. Logically, there had to be an entrance, but no matter how much she poked and prodded she couldn’t find one. The furniture - a bed, a chair and a table, as well as a corner for washing up and waste - everything seemed to be made out of one piece of metal, and fused with the wall. 

A prison cell, one that she could move around on her own, was an upgrade to being held down on a table, but still very restrictive.

Think, she told herself. Where do you go from here?

If she could get her hands on a communications device - steal one from a guard, or from Hux - she’d have no trouble contacting the Resistance, she was sure. But she was a prisoner, so she had to improvise. She tested her connection with the Force, and found it, to her delight - a feeble link, but a link nonetheless. 

The joy of that discovery - the relief of it - was quickly overshadowed, though. Because as soon as she made contact, she also felt the darkness saturating the air, filling her entire being and leaving a bad taste in her mouth. So much darkness. So much misery. And there, right in the middle of it, she felt Kylo Ren. 

Rey pulled away from the force, closing her senses until it was just her in the room. Hux expected her to destabilize his rival so that he would be easier to bring down, but she had to do so without alerting him - or Snoke, or anybody else who was sensitive to the force - about where she was. That should be easy, considering I don’t even know where I am. At first she’d wondered why she’d been brought here, when she could have made a connection with Kylo Ren from anywhere, but now… 

If she were caught, she’d be killed on sight. She didn’t command the Force well enough to fight back, and she had no weapon to defend herself. If they didn’t kill her by any chance, nothing she said would be believed - especially an accusations against Hux. 

If only she could connect with Luke… but Luke’s presence within the Force was weak already, and in here, she doubted she could establish a connection.

Rey sat down on her bed and cradled her head in her hands. I have to do this, she thought. I have to, at least for now. At least she wasn’t being restrained. She could learn more about the base before making her escape. Leaning back, she closed her eyes, and tried to make contact.

At first she experienced the Force like a torrential rain, pouring down on her, soaking her to the bones and filling her up. Then the waters started to rise, swallowing her ankles, her waist, her neck. She took a deep breath and went under completely.

Always be weary, Luke used to tell her. And always make sure there’s somebody to look after you while you do this. In its deepest stages, this submerging can make you completely unaware of the world around you.

Why would I do it, then? She’d asked.

Because you see better. 

And now she saw - the energies of the place, the strength and magnitude of them, the way they tangled and interacted with one another. She felt Snoke like a huge, constant pressure on everyone, and she tried making herself as small as possible. 

Kylo was easy to find. His inner world was always there, always beckoning her in one way or another. Their link, dreaded thing, had been bothering her a lot when she first started her training with Luke. She was always afraid that he would take over her body and finish what he’d started. And though Luke never said a thing, she sensed that he felt the same way, too. 

And now she had to not only enter this inner world, but navigate it, bluff, destabilize it. She was already weary. 

There. She was close, right on the edge. If she tried gaining entry, there would be no way to hide herself - she had to be ready to face the monster. Taking a deep breath, she stepped in. 

Who’s that? Who are you?

And then a wave of disgust hit her, so hard it made her reel. He’d felt her, and she’d felt him, and she could not stand it. Her entire being was in revolt. Gritting her teeth, she tried again, but the nausea was so powerful, it threw her back - away from Kylo, his inner world, away from the energies of the Force, and right back into her body, where she curled up into a ball and screamed.

*

“You will do well to eat,” Hux said to her. She hadn’t seen him enter the room. “You won’t get very far with the energy you have now, and you’re not getting any more food until I see some sign of cooperation from you.”

“Your belief in my usefulness is touching,” she murmured. She was still curled up, body quaking. “But I think it was overestimated in this case.”

Hux raised an eyebrow. She expected him to lash out, maybe hit her. Instead, he sat on the chair and started to take pieces of food from the plate laid out for her. “Tell me,” he said. “What is it that’s stopping you?”

Rey watched him for a while, unsure if he was genuinely curious or just playing with her. Either was a distinct possibility.

“The longer you wait,” he said between bites, “the less there will be for you.”

“I cannot force the connection,” Rey said, pushing herself off the bed. “Whatever must have happened the other times, it didn’t work now.”

While Hux seemed to mull this through, Rey wondered if it was too soon for Plan B. She had no doubt her captor had one in mind - it would be too easy to throw her out of the echo chamber and then “find” her. One way or another, he could make use of her.

She had a Plan B too - but she told herself that she wouldn’t use it, not just yet. At least not until Hux gave up on her completely.

“Let me guess,” he said, “it feels strange to you, the connection? Revolting, even? When it was involuntary, you bore it out somehow, but reaching out to him yourself makes you sick. Oh, don’t make that face—” he added “—it’s not that difficult to guess, given how you look like right now.”

“If you’re so in tune with the Force, why do you need me for?” Rey asked, angry now. 

“Because I am not in tune, Rey. In fact, I am anything but.” Hux pushed the tray across the table. “Come. Eat. You survived for years on Jakku, so I know you have common sense.”

Again with the references to Jakku. She hated that smug attitude he had, dangling her own past over her head like bait, saying just enough to make her tense up, but not giving anything up. It didn’t help that she knew what it could be. She was done with that part of her life - she wasn’t interested in reliving the experience. Least of all with Hux.

She did have common sense, though. And once her stomach settled, the idea of food became a lot more appealing. 

“Your lessons with Luke,” Hux said, “How far did they get? Did he get to the part where you discuss really getting into people’s heads, or did he just fine-tune your mind-control abilities?”

“How did you—” Stupid question. Kylo had probably shared every bit of Jedi training he’d received from Luke. She shoved some food in her mouth and thought back. The truth was, her Jedi training had been haphazard and uncomfortable, even a year in. Luke picked up topics and dropped them at random, spent weeks trying to teach her something only to then give up in a huff. The only thing that was consistent were the sword drills, and that was mostly because she could practice with the other skilled fighters in the Resistance.

“Master Luke taught me a lot about the Force,” she said at length. “You’ll need to be more specific about what you’re asking me.”

“Funny, I thought that was pretty specific. You seemed comfortable enough trying to control my mind when we first started our little partnership, and yet here you are, unable to establish a connection with your most hated enemy. That doesn’t strike you as a little odd?”

Rey shrugged. “Perhaps he’s guarding himself better than before.”

“Or perhaps he’s more familiar to you than you realize.” 

She waited for him to explain, but Hux just sat there, looking like he’d just revealed the secrets of the universe to her. Eventually, she had to ask him to clarify.

“Why don’t I give a practical example?” he said, smirking. “Think back to when you were on Jakku…”

“Enough! Stop referring to Jakku as if you know what it was like.”

Her hands hurt. She’d slammed them against the table, with more strength than she expected. Pain shot through her palms and up her forearms. Her wrists, still tender from their confinement, felt like they might break. 

“As I said—” Hux went on, as though she hadn’t interrupted him at all “—when you were on Jakku, you occasionally had to get people to do what you want. Nothing they weren’t already thinking about doing - rather, you had to influence them, so that they wouldn’t do anything you really didn’t want them to do. And because they were weaklings, they yielded to your control. You couldn’t do it all the time - certainly not to barter for more food - but when you encountered a Stormtrooper, you found them equally easy to influence.

“You cannot influence him because he’s a far stronger personality. Not without breaking his mind.”

“Is that what you want me to do?” Rey asked. 

“It would only be fair. Considering that’s what he almost did to your friend. Ah, but that’s not how you do things at the Resistance, is it?” He laughed - the face she made must have been an interesting one. “That suits me just fine. In fact, if he were made to look like an imbecile, it would help me far more than if he were to die a martyr for the cause.”

We have very different ideas about martyrdom, Rey thought. “You just said it’s impossible to influence a strong mind without breaking it.”

“Which is why I don’t want you to influence him. I want you to establish a connection, and then destroy him.”

*

Later, when the last scraps of food were devoured, Rey played a game of “if only”. It was a very easy game - she didn’t need anything but her own thoughts for it, and the limits to it was only her imagination. She fancied herself quite good at it, too. She’d played it for years.

If only Master Luke had spent more time teaching her about using the Force to connect.

If only she’d brought her shields up.

If only she hadn’t left the Resistance without telling anybody.

If only she’d opened up to her friends when they asked her what the problem was.

There were so many pathways, so many different outcomes, she could have explored them until she died of hunger. It changed nothing of her current situation, but it sure was a way to pass the time. More pleasant than what Hux had suggested, at any rate.

You connected with him several times already, so you know you can do it. There is something about him now that makes him revolting to you. Something that you understand better than you want to. Figure out what that is, and you’ll be able to break through.

What a load that was. She was becoming more and more convinced that this was some elaborate mind game, devised by the First Order to break her and make her easier for Snoke to manipulate. Never mind that the grand master hadn’t even tried making contact. It was all a matter of time. 

Before he’d left, Hux had showed her a recording - a smuggler, talking about how he’d left her on Jakku after her parents had given her to him. Yes, yes, I remember girl. She could still hear his voices, all four of them, as they rose in harmony to describe her at age 5 or 6. Supposed to take her somewhere safe. Money ran out halfway, though. 

Rey had taken care not to show any emotions as she watched - and when Hux asked if she had any questions, it had taken everything not to grab the recorder from his hand. It could all be a ruse - in fact, it was more likely than not - but her heart had leapt at the words. They made sense - after all, why Jakku of all places? Why abandon her at a desert world with no means of communication and barely any possessions, and not a more hospitable planet? There were far easier ways to get rid of a child, and they would have had a safeguard if they suspected for a moment that they wouldn’t be back before her supplies ran out.

If her parents had left her in the care of someone who they trusted, who had then turned around and abandoned her… that made sense. 

It was also, unfortunately, exactly the sort of thing she would have hoped to hear. Careful, she thought. Be very careful. Hope - stupid, treacherous hope - was taking root. 

She tried to reach out to Luke through the Force - she’d been trying every few minutes, with the same results. Her Master was too far away. There were too many negative energies surrounding her. She had managed to get into a Stormtrooper’s head, briefly - and she’d discovered that he didn’t know where the echo chamber was. He didn’t even know what parts of the base existed beyond his quadrant. 

The First Order was divided, even within its ranks. If she wanted to know the full extent of the place, she had to tap into the mind of a higher-up. A strong personality. 

Kylo Ren, maybe?

This could be how I destabilize him, she thought. If she got him to free her, that would definitely raise questions. 

Then again, she would probably be dead before any of it played out. Her lightsaber was locked away. She had nothing to defend herself with. He’d cut her down in seconds. 

But if she was smart… if she said the right things… 

She took a deep breath and sat on the bed. She reached out to the Force. And then she tried picking Kylo out of the multitude once more.

The darkness was all around her, blinding her, filling her lungs. Sickness started to build, and she fought herself from running away. She wasn’t even talking to him yet, and she was already put off. What was it? What was it that freaked her out so much? It made no sense.

If anything, she ought to have been sick when she heard about how her parents abandoned her with a stranger.

How could you? She thought. How could you do this to me? 

Bit by bit, the darkness around her started to feel less oppressive. The pressure eased, and she found herself almost… comforted. 

They left me behind, Rey thought on, keeping her awareness open as she delved into herself. They didn’t care to make sure I was safe. 

They thought it was for your own good, Kylo responded. All at once, the darkness fell away, as did the revulsion and the fear, and she found herself facing her enemy, for the first time, in his own world.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

She expected Kylo’s inner world to reflect the man he was - harsh, dark, rot and ruin embodied. Instead, she faced him in the middle of a desert. Not her desert, not any desert she knew on Jakku. Here, the sands were a deep russet, the grains larger and heavier under her feet. The skies were clear, but in the distance, past his shoulder, she could see clouds swirling and racing, proof of the powerful wind currents that existed in this planet’s stratosphere. 

“Surprised, scavenger?” Kylo Ren asked. “Were you expecting more skeletons?”

“I’m sure they’re somewhere below the surface here.” She focused her attention at a point in the middle of his neck: she would be able to see if he moved to attack, but she wasn’t ready to meet his eyes yet. “Though you can probably say I’d have just as many.”

Long pause. She waited for the obvious follow-up, or at least some acknowledgment that they were on the same page. Oh, she had his attention - she could feel him scrutinizing her, up and down and up again, like she was being measured - but he was not engaging her. 

What if he suspected? She couldn’t afford panicking, but fear gripped her throat nonetheless. Maybe she was being too compliant. Maybe he expected the Resistance to try something like that.

“Your mother worries about you,” she said, taking a gamble. “It doesn’t help her leadership.”

“Did she say that?” he asked, amusement evident in his voice.

“No. She doesn’t say a thing.” Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to finally look up. “But I can see it. Every time I look like I might connect with you, I see her tense up.”

She knew what to expect - she’d seen pictures that Reconnaissance had taken of him in the past year. She knew of his scar - she’d been the one to give it to him, after all. But seeing it up close was something different. It didn’t just criss-cross his face - it distorted his features, obliterating half his nose and pulling the entire right side of his mouth down. His right eye squinted out a mass of angry scar tissue. Her heart stuttered, and she felt a dull, phantom pain spread through her own skin. 

Kylo Ren smirked - the grimace even more unpleasant than usual - because of course he knew. Even if she tried to control her facial expressions, they were connected. This was his world. 

“So what does my dear mother want from you?” he asked, enjoying her discomfort. “Is she looking for hope? Some kind of clue that her Ben is still out there, even after all that he did?”

“No,” Rey said. That was true enough. “But she cannot talk about you to anybody. There isn’t a person in the Resistance that might understand. Except for me.”

“Except for you,” he adds. “And you disappoint her, every time.”

She shrugged. It wasn’t just Kylo Ren - or rather, Ben Solo - that the General had tried to talk to Rey about. When she came back from a mission, or from a period of training with Luke, Leia always spent a little more time debriefing her; and on more than one occasion, she’d invited her to come and spend time with other female officers. I’m glad that you, Poe and Finn get along, she’d said to her. But they’re on missions most of the time, and you are still in training. Perhaps you can benefit from expanding your social circle.

“That’s interesting,” he spoke in her ear, startling her. In the blink of an eye, he’d moved behind her. It was not real, and yet, she could feel his breath on her neck, and the heat of his body. 

“What is?” Rey asked. “What’s interesting?”

“She never used to interfere,” he replied. “Not after Luke began to train me and the others. She assumed we’d keep each other company, no doubt. Foolish, really.”

“Or logical.” She looked over her shoulder, met his eyes. “After all, she thought you were of the family. She thought you had the qualities necessary to lead.”

His expression didn’t change, but she felt the shift of mood in the air around them. It was in the brusque way he asked her, finally, what had compelled her to seek him out. Her words had found their target.

“You wouldn’t come on your own volition, scavenger, let alone stand there and make conversation,” he said. “Did my mother send you?”

“No. Your uncle did.”

“He thinks you can fight me? Here?”

“You never completed your training.” Not that she had. In fact, she had probably been taught less than he ever knew. But instead of calling her out on it, he looked thoughtful.

“Do you know this planet?” he asked, gesturing at the landscape around them. “Its name, its history?”

Was she supposed to? Looking around, she could see no distinctive landmarks, no particularities… even the twin suns in the sky were not familiar to her. She had been studying hard, but there were only so many— 

“Oh,” she said. “Tatooine.”

Kylo Ren nodded. “My uncle took me here, when he first began to train me. He and the others,” he squinted at the distance. “He showed us where he had grown up, where his father had lived, where he had first turned to the Dark Side. He wanted to warn us, I suppose, that even the brightest intentions can lead to ruin.” Then, without another word, he walked around and away from her. 

Rey waited a beat or two, before running to catch up. 

A heavy wind picked up, throwing sand in her face. She unwound her scarf and wrapped it around her head, while keeping her eyes on his retreating back. What would happen if they got lost in a sandstorm? Would she be able to find her own way back? More sand, and then a loud howling tore through the air. It was the loneliest sound in the world.

Where are you going? She wondered, as he moved further and further away from her. What is going on here? 

The cloud which she’d only glimpsed at when she’d first appeared in his inner world, was upon them now. It tore at her clothes, blinding her, slowing her down. She pushed against the storm, but it was miserable. Every fibre of her body screamed at her to give up, just give up. 

Then she saw the outline of a man, right in front of her. She took one step, two steps. She expected Kylo Ren; maybe he lured her in a storm to kill her easier. 

She was about to turn back and escape, out of this repulsive world and back into her own body, when she recognized the man standing in front of her. In her surprise and shock, she let go of the scarf she was holding onto her face, and it ripped away in the wind. 

“Han!” Rey screamed. 

His mouth was moving, but she couldn’t hear his words over the howling of the storm. She struggled to get to him - if she could just touch him, grab a hold of his hand, maybe she could pull him away. Maybe she could save him this time.

Han smiled, or so it seemed to her… just before Kylo Ren rushed him, driving his lightsaber straight into his chest. 

*

Rey woke up on the floor of the echo chamber, screaming. For a while, all she could do was lie there, the cold seeping through her body, chilling her to the bone. She was shaking, and at the same time, she could feel the heat of Tatooine, the bite of sand against her skin. When she finally tried sitting up, the entire left side of her body hurt. She hadn’t even attempted to soften her fall, when she’d tumbled onto the ground. 

Gingerly, she sat back on the bed and took stock of herself. Her confinement hadn’t been long enough to ravage her body, but being immobilized and underfed had made her feel stiff and sluggish. Judging from the pain in her elbow, shoulder and knee, she was in for some major bruises. 

This wouldn’t do. If she wanted to get out of this mess alive - and she had every intention to - she had to make sure she wasn’t too tired or sick to. 

For the next hour or so, she went through some of the things Luke had taught her - basic physical exercises first, to get her blood moving, then more demanding movements - things she knew well, and things she wasn’t too good at, using the repetition of the drill to distract herself from the feelings that threatened to overwhelm her. 

Hux appeared, long after she had finished and cooled down, bearing a tray. 

“Well,” he said. “I told you you could do it.”

Rey gave him a weary look. She couldn’t imagine how that pathetic exchange classified as progress, but Hux had brought food, which meant that she’d succeeded in some way. What, she knew nothing of.

He waited while she was in the middle of devouring her meal, when he told her he needed her to connect with Kylo Ren again, tonight. “As soon as you’re done with this, actually.”

“Why? What is going on tonight?” Rey asked.

“Nothing you need to worry your pretty head over.” 

She frowned, then made a point of eating as slow as possible. It was a petty rebellion - but it helped, if Hux thought all she was capable of was pettiness. 

He sighed. “Are you always this stubborn?”

“This isn’t about stubbornness,” Rey said. “I don’t even know how I affect him. It’s like expecting me to be able to fight in the dark.”

“You ought to be able to. You have affinity to the Force,” Hux said. When she started eating even slower, though, he gave up and told her that, while he couldn’t directly feel the changes of Kylo Ren’s mental state, Snoke certainly did. “And the Grand Master has little tolerance for distraction. Especially at key times.”

“That’s your plan?” Rey asked. “Make him look distracted in front of Snoke?”

Hux laughed. “You’d be surprised how bad that can be for one’s health, scavenger. Unlike you, we have not been punished with a lenient teacher.”

*

She tried reaching out to her friends again, once she was alone. Master Luke first, then Poe, Finn, the General. They were all so far away. So unreachable. Like a dream, they slipped from her fingers. A few more moon cycles in this place, and she would convince herself that everything had just been a reverie, and that she would wake up on Jakku again, hungry and alone, with nothing but a hard day of scavenging to look forward to. 

Not that she hadn’t been good at the scavenging, Rey thought as she turned her attention to finding Kylo Ren again. No, once she’d learned the ropes and the rest of the shipbreakers stopped chasing her from the sites, she’d thrown herself into that work, the grease and the evaluation and the constant weighing up of whether a particular piece of scrap was worth dragging to trade or not. It was an uncertain life, but one she lived on her terms. 

This - the dancing around she had to do for Hux - she did not like. This life, where she was constantly forced to play to someone else’s whims, was what she hoped she’d left behind.

But until she found a way out, she had to play along. 

It was easier this time to overcome her revulsion when she first found the edge of Kylo Ren’s inner world. Easier still, to sink through that first wave of disgust and come on the other side. Once again, she found herself on Tatooine - this time, though, she recognized the mountains. Luke had told her about them - that same day they met, in fact.

She’d held out the lightsaber to him, expecting him to take it; to take up the call of arms, too, for it was a war they were fighting, and they had to act fast. Instead, he’d told her to keep the weapon, and had invited her to sit with him for a cup of tea. 

It was not what she expected. He was not what she expected. Not even the news of Han’s death, or the advancements of the First Order got a reaction out of him. Finally, she’d asked him where he’d gotten the idea of hiding away on a desert island after so long. 

“My first master,” he’d said. “He laid his weapon down when he realized that violence only brought agony to the world.”

His conviction had eventually waned - however, not before he gave her an account of life on Tatooine, and how he’d met Obi-Wan Kenobi. She recognized the mountains as though she herself had lived there. She knew exactly which path to take to find where the former general had lived. 

She didn’t know why Kylo Ren would be there, or why this place made sense to him. He had no connection to Kenobi as far as she knew. 

She felt them before she saw them. Snoke was first - his energy was impossible to mistake, a heavy feeling at the bit of her stomach, nauseating and cold. Kylo Ren, by comparison, was almost invisible. As she crept into the shelter and rounded the corner, Rey imagined holding her old staff. It would do nothing against a lightsaber, but it made her feel better.

Later, she would be amazed they hadn’t felt her as soon as she entered. She was so sickened by their combined energy, she barely made an effort to contain her own. And wasn’t Snoke supposed to be all-seeing and all-powerful. But instead they ignored her. 

Then she heard Kylo Ren’s voice. At first she thought he was chanting in some language she didn’t know. But no. As she crept closer, she heard Leia, and then Luke and Han. An endless, uninterrupted litany of names. 

Holding her staff harder than before, Rey looked around the final corner and saw him at the window, framed against thee red sky of Tatooine. His helmet was off, and she could see the tendons in his arms as he gripped the frame. 

“Luke, Leia, Han,” he whispered. “Luke, Leia, Han.”

Was he trying to connect with them through the Force? Destabilize them, the same was she was trying to destabilize him? She wondered if she ought to charge him, or wait and see if he established contact. 

While she debated, another figure came up to Kylo Ren. Rey recognized the hair first, then the blaster, sitting in a worn sling over the man’s hips. A silhouette as familiar as her own, and a carbon copy of Kylo Ren’s.

Han.

Rey watched as her old mentor placed his hand on his son’s shoulder and leaned in. She almost spoke his name out lou. Even if her rational brain replayed the scene of his death, the joy of seeing Han Solo, even as a figment of Kylo Ren’s imagination… it made her weak at the knees. 

“Useless.”

The word cut through the air, and the world itself seemed to hold its breath. Even Kylo Ren’s chanting stopped. 

“Always trying, but never getting there,” Han went on. His voice was exactly the same as she remembered it, the same tone and pronunciation; but there was an edge to it she didn’t recognize. “Good thing we fobbed you off to Luke when we got the chance.”

There was a sound of wound splintering. Kylo Ren had gripped the window hard enough to break the panel. 

“You’d think the son of Leia Organa would have a knack at diplomacy, maybe a little bit of charisma. Instead, we got an idiot who can’t even control his own temper. Tell me something, boy - how did you think you would make that scavenger switch sides? Did you think she cares about power? Or maybe that she’d be tempted by your good looks?”

Oh, stars.

Rey didn’t need more to understand what was going on. But see and hear she did, as Han kept whispering poison into his son’s ear, counting off his failures and deficiencies like they were marks in a ledger. At some point, the man turned and she saw the cruel twist of his mouth, the was his fingers dug into Kylo Ren’s shoulder, like the talons of some bird of prey. 

Snoke. It had to be Snoke. 

Even as Rey froze, and made herself as small as she could behind the wall, her mind raced to comprehend what was going on. Pieces of a puzzle started falling into place - first slowly, and then faster and faster, while a picture formed. 

She knew that Snoke had been trying to get Ben Solo to convert to the dark side long before he actually did. She had been told, by Luke and the others, that the grand master of the First Order had inserted himself into the boy’s mind before he even comprehended what was going on. But she had never imagined what it would be like, or how that might have felt. She just thought Ben Solo had been tempted with the promise of power. 

She was wrong.

“Are you going to keep wasting my time?” Snoke said. “Or are you going to find your old Master?”

Kylo Ren screamed, his knees buckling. Before he could go down, Snoke’s hand grabbed him by the hair and wrenched his head back. His other hand pulled his blaster out and pressed it against the younger man’s temple.

“We have no use to deadweights,” he snarled. Rey could not see his expression, but she did see Kylo’s - and before she could think twice, she charged the room, her staff swinging into a wide arc. 

Snoke turned. She saw Han’s face, the familiar traits twisted in shock, and her heart screamed at her to stop. The next second, her weapon connected, sending him flying across the room. 

She locked eyes with Kylo Ren for a moment - only for a moment, but it was enough - and then she charged Snoke again, bringing her staff down hard on his back and then his head, over and over again until he wasn’t moving anymore. He stayed in Han’s form the whole time.

When she was finished, the room swayed, as though an earthquake was tearing through Tatooine, and a horrible clacking sound filled her ears. It took her a second to realize that it was her own teeth chattering, and that it wasn’t the planet that was shaking, but her. 

A shadow fell over the wall. She turned, but before she could attack, his hands were pinning her against the wall, fingers digging into her shoulders, and Rey found herself closer to Kylo Ren than she had ever been before.

Except he didn’t look like Kylo Ren. Oh, it was the right face, and the right body, but he didn’t look angry or even condescending. He looked scared, and so very young. 

“It’s you,” he said, his voice hoarse. “It’s actually you.”

Yes, Rey tried to answer, but she couldn’t get the words out. She couldn’t remember what she was doing or why she was there in the first place. Her heart was beating too fast, pumping adrenalin through her system, making her dizzy. The air itself felt charged. 

Then he released her and drew his light saber. 

“Or is this a new form,” he asked, but there was something in his voice. An uncertainty she hadn’t heard before. “Is this how you will train me from now on, Master?”

She didn’t understand at first - was he blind? Could he not distinguish between Snoke’s essence and hers? But just as quickly as she thought this, she realized that this was not an everyday person with an everyday mind. As far as he knew, she was nothing more than a new mind game. 

“I’m not going to fight you,” Rey said.

“You’re raising your guard,” he noted.

“You’re the one threatening me.” She could tell she was losing him. She had to say something. “Find me. See if I’m real. But I’m not playing Snoke’s game.”

“You should not have killed him,” he said, as she started to retreat out of his world. “You’ll only make things worse.”

Why? She wanted to ask, but she could hear the rumble of an incoming storm, and she couldn’t afford to stay behind. She threw herself blindly towards herself, towards her own body, and hoped that he would try to find her next.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

“What do you know of the Neptune quadrant?” Hux asked. 

This was a new game to him. Asking her what she knew of a particular place in the galaxy, and then punishing her when she didn’t have an answer. Or punishing her when she gave the wrong answer. Or sometimes punishing her when she gave the right answer, just to keep her on her toes. So the first couple of times he’d withheld food from her, but now he’d stopped the plumbing to her cell and raised the temperature of the air several degrees. It felt, and smelled like the manure pits on Jakku. 

She hadn’t been in contact with Kylo Ren for… she wanted to say days, but for all she knew, it could have been weeks. She still hadn’t adjusted to the new regime, and Hux wasn’t allowing her to adjust. She had no way of telling how much time had gone or what was going on in the outside world. She slept by fits and starts, and paced her cell or practiced katas until she grew so weak she could barely rise from the bed. 

From time to time, she felt like she might be breaking through to her friends, enough to maybe call out for help. But then she opened her eyes and she was back in the cell again, alone or with Hux. At this point, pissing him off was the most resistance she could put up with.

“Hello, scavenger.” He nudged her with his boot. “I asked you a question.”

“The Neptune quadrant,” Rey murmured. “Nope, doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.”

“I’m disappointed. You’re not taking the search for your family as seriously as I thought you would be,” Hux said. “If you were going to be this obstinate, why bother agreeing to this deal in the first place?”

“Right. We’re still pretending you’re going to let me go.” Though it made her head spin, Rey pushed herself off the bed and looked at him dead in the eye. “Or is this your idea of a strengthening exercise?”

“So cynical. Then again, that’s hardly surprising,” he said. “It’s such a shame this would have to go to waste, though.”

Rey eyed the holocard he was holding out, and scoffed. “What’s this. The new version of the Imperial March?”

“Your parents’ last coordinates,” Hux said. “As of three months ago. Granted, eyewitness accounts are not always reliable, but I’d let you decide how much the description rings a bell or not.”

Rey took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. Her head span. “He’s convinced I’m Snoke. I can’t break through his barriers again - he has to come to me.” 

“Still haven’t figured this out, haven’t you?” Hux tucked the holocard back into his pocket. “This isn’t an equal relationship, scavenger. You either give me what I want, or not. I’m not obliged to accommodate you or give you extensions.”

“Funny,” she said. “You seemed pretty open to that at first.”

Hux got up to leave. “Even if you can’t fill out your end of the bargain, I’ll find a way to get what I want. You, on the other hand, haven’t got much to leverage.” 

Just as he was about to disappear, Rey called after him. “What do you want me to do? I can’t even tell what happens when I leave his world.”

Hux laughed. “Can’t you? Every time he interacts with you, he loses favor with our Master. Nice touch, by the way - attacking Snoke like that, it really made him think that our boy might be plotting to turn on us.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “That’s it? You’re trying to make him look like a traitor?”

“And you’re making it really hard for him to deny. Tell you what,” Hux pulled a portion of food from his pocket and tossed it at her. “Lure him into the Neptune quadrant. Tell him that your Master is going there to help you find your parents. He won’t resist the opportunity to try and get you both on his own. Do that and your freedom is guaranteed.”

“Liar,” Rey said.

She must have been sicker than she thought - she didn’t see Hux move until he was on top of her, hand digging into her neck. The room span.

“What do you think?” he asked, his voice cold. “That your affinity to the Force somehow makes you better than the rest of us? That you are special, or important? Look at you - I captured you with no difficulty. Your precious Resistance hasn’t been able to find you. You cannot even use your powers properly. The only reason you are seen as important is because you managed to overpower Kylo Ren - and he is a first-class idiot.”

Darkness started creeping in along the edges of her vision as she clawed at his hand. She imagined the Force, imagined pushing through whatever barriers he has and destroying him. She fought with all her fury, and nothing happened.

“Enough,” he said, slamming her against the wall. “There’s nothing for you to connect with, don’t you understand? You cannot impact me with your mind tricks.” 

Suddenly, the pressure on her throat eased and she fell to the bed, coughing hard. Hux pulled away.

“Pathetic,” he snarled. “All your training, all the praise, and it was for naught. Beneath it all, you remain nothing but a scavenging whore.”

“It must hurt,” Rey said, voice hoarse. “That Kylo Ren is Snoke’s favorite, and not you.”

Hux smirked. “Look at that. She tries to use her brain.” Turning on his heel, he walked to the wall - a different wall from last time - and slipped away before she could rush after him.

Rey waited for him to come back, or administer some new punishment. But after a few minutes of silence, she pushed herself into and upright position and tore into the food he’d left behind. 

The bread was stale, but it was real and she forced herself to chew slowly. When the last crumb was gone, and her head was completely clear, she tried to connect with Luke once more. Maybe this time she’d be able to find him. Maybe this time her Master would respond.

The first time she discovered her inner world, she thought she’d failed, for the landscape was the same as the planet where Luke had spent so many years on, the planet where she started her training. But as she explored it more and more, she discovered quirks that made it uniquely his - ships wrecked on shore, a strange sand that was just like that on Jakku, bits and bobs scattered across the island that she didn’t recognize and yet seemed so familiar.

Today, the sea was turbulent, and black clouds swirled in the skies. She could sense Snoke from afar, even though he didn’t have access to her mind yet. By now, the Master of the First Order knew she was close - though how close, she had no idea. 

And Luke? Luke was nowhere to be seen. 

Rey started walking up to the stone steps, towards higher ground, when she felt something - someone - trying to gain access. 

“You took your time,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t shake. 

“I had to,” Kylo Ren responded. “Have you any idea how hard it is to establish contact with you? Some days, the effort itself nauseates me, scavenger.”

I am not surprised, she thought as she turned to face him. And then she gasped.

His face was a mess of bruises and cuts, his scar tissue red and angry. She knew what had happened before he even spoke. “We don’t take too well to intruders here,” he said. “My master had many questions about you.”

“I bet he did,” Rey murmured. “Is that why you finally sought me out?”

“No. In fact, I am forbidden from trying to contact you unless it’s under his specific orders.”

She considered this. “So why are you here?”

“Same reason why you sought me out—” he came closer “—because we both think we know better than our masters.”

The words - the arrogance, the implied conceit - should have made her angry. They should have spurred her into action. She had very little time to waste, and she had a lot of convincing to do in order to lead him to his death. 

But she couldn’t bring herself to feel anger or disgust. It would have been so much easier if she did - if she saw him as somehow lesser, as different from her. Kylo Ren, the man who murdered his father. Kylo Ren, who half the galaxy feared. Kylo Ren, secret embarrassment to the Resistance. Kylo Ren, who had wanted to torture her and break her at one point. He was still all of those things… and she had forced herself to see how alike they were. How, despite their differences, they’d been broken in exactly the same ways. 

The realization hit her like a clap of thunder. I cannot do this, she thought. I cannot lure him to his death.

“Lost the plot there, scavenger?” he asked. With a start, she realized he’d come closer, so close, in fact, that he was in her personal space. 

She stepped back. 

That was a mistake.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Don’t tell me I startled you.”

“Of course not.” But he was on his guard now, probably expecting an ambush. It didn’t matter that there was precious little she could do in her own head - this was all going to Hell, and it was going fast.

“And here I was thinking you’d be happy to see me,” he said, wryly. 

“I… I don’t like people in my personal space,” Rey said, then immediately kicked herself. Of all the things, why did this have to be the one that came first to mind? “Come on,” she said, turning on her heel and going up the stone steps. “We shouldn’t be this close to the water.”

“What difference does that make to you?” he said, right into her ear. Then, before she could turn around, he reappeared on top of a boulder, staring down on her. “This is your world. You decide what is safe and what is not.”

That hadn’t been her impression from last time she saw him. But maybe he was just saying that. Maybe he was testing her.

What was the right thing to do? 

She realized, with a start, that she was completely alone in this. She couldn’t do as Hux asked, she couldn’t fight and break free on her own. She couldn’t reach her Master for guidance, and she couldn’t imagine what Luke would tell her to do if he knew what a mess she’d made of things. In fact, there was only one person who might be able to help her, and he was more suspicious of her than ever. 

She met Kylo Ren’s eyes, and she knew he was waiting for some trap to spring. She had to do something he wouldn’t expect.

Smiling a little, Rey faced the sea, and then ran straight into it. 

*

She’d only swam a few times, and it had always been an unpleasant experience. She could never relax in the water. Never let herself float.

This is my world, Rey thought as she dove under the surface. I call the shots. 

There was resistance at first, followed by a cold fear that she’d just thrown herself into the unknown. But after a beat or two, it disappeared, and Rey opened her eyes to take in the new landscape.

She was floating in what appeared to be an underwater garden… and she seemed to be able to breathe as easily here as she would aboveground. Rather than sand, the seafloor was covered with corals and blood-red flowers, curly seaweed and broken shells. Here and there, she saw various pieces of scavenge - parts of ships and old satellites, broken crates and stay tubes, embedded in the sand and covered in seaweed and clams. At her right, a tree like a weeping willow swayed in the current. There was a figure under its branches. She thought it was a statue at first.

And then he swam where she could see. 

“Impressive,” Kylo Ren said. “I never thought you’d have such an imagination.”

“I guess I went deeper than I usually do,” Rey replied, feeling more shocked than she should have been. The whole scene had a strange, surreal quality to it. Like something she’d seen in a dream and could no longer remember. Maybe she was from a planet like this. 

Or maybe she was going mad with hunger and exhaustion. Anything was possible.

“You’re not afraid to let me in this far?” he asked. “I could do serious damage if I wanted to.”

“Do you?”

“I could.”

“But do you?”

Kylo Ren was silent for a long minute. Then he said, “No. I don’t.”

Well, that was something at least. Feeling bold, she swam closer, until she, too, was under the branches of the willow. Shelter, she thought. This was as safe a place as she could make. 

But he didn’t seem interested in having a serious conversation. He didn’t seem interested in a conversation, period. 

The silence grew and grew and grew. Finally, she said she needed to tell him something.

“I’m not going back to the Light,” he said. “If that’s what you were hoping to achieve.”

“It wasn’t.” And yet she felt sad. “It isn’t. I know who you are. I know you are not Resistance.”

He hummed. And then he stepped closer. “Neither are you.”

This time, she didn’t pull back. “No. Neither am I.”

She knew what he was going to do before he did. It had nothing to do with her affinity to the Force - just a lot of bitter experience, and an awareness of physical cues. Later, she would tell herself that it was all part of the negotiation, a desperate attempt to win his trust and save herself.

But when he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him, she wasn’t planning for escape, or thinking about what to say. Instead, she raised herself up and kissed him first. 

He wasn’t like she expected him to be. For the longest time, he just stood there, frozen against her. Too fast, she thought and started pulling back.

“No,” he whispered. “Not fast at all.”

And he kissed her again - still careful and slow, as though he expected her to dissolve at any moment. Rey’s head swam. She didn’t have time for this. She could feel darkness creeping into her, feel her body grow weaker by the minute. She had to say what she had to say, before she lost track of everything and disappeared into her own head.

So she took over - she buried both hands in his hair and pulled him closer, kissing him with all the desperation and frustration that she felt. Memories of other kisses - some good, many terrible - rose to the surface, as she fought to control her own natural reaction to the stimulus. She could feel his hands balling up, grabbing fistfuls of her tunic, holding her in place. She felt like she was drowning.

No. Stop! 

Rey only thought it, but he pulled away as though she’d screamed the words in his ear. He looked shocked. And then angry.

“What is going on?” he demanded, voice rough. Then his eyes narrowed. “What is at the Neptune quadrant?”

“Nothing,” Rey answered, but she knew that he didn’t buy it. She’d let him in too far - this deep into her mind, he could pluck thoughts out of thin air and she wouldn’t be able to stop him. And she felt him just as strong. “It’s where Hux wants me to lure you.”

He was slow to react. At first he just stared down at her. Then he let go of her and stepped back.

“What?”

“Hux. He captured me a while ago.” Rey swallowed. She couldn’t stop herself talking. “He’s been getting me to destabilize you, make Snoke lose trust in you. He wants me to lure you to the Nep—”

“You must think I’m a fool.” His voice was cutting. 

“I’m not lying. He’s been—”

“Enough!”

And they just stood there, the silence only punctuated by the imaginary tide and rasp of the willow. Rey felt like she might pass out at any moment, by the time he spoke again.

“You’re heading there with your master, aren’t you?” he asked.

“No. No, I am not.”

But there was no point in arguing. He’d made up his mind. “You’re going there, and you know that you might run into a First Order patrol, aren’t you? What? You didn’t think we don’t keep an ear on Resistance comms?” He smiled, and it was vicious. “You were hoping to throw me off the track. Spin some kind of riddle about how Hux is conspiring to take me out. Not bad, scavenger. There’s hope for you yet.”

“You don’t understand.” She tried to show him where she was, but her inner world wasn’t so easy to navigate. Suddenly, she felt the tide a lot more, a powerful current pulling her further away from him. “Listen to me! Hux is setting up a trap.”

“The only people who will have a trap sprung on them are the Resistance. I’ll be there,” he said. “I’ll find you, and your Master. You have until then to decide whether you’re joining us or not.”

Rey opened her mouth to tell him he was wrong, and it filled with water. Gagging, she tried to swim to the surface, except she didn’t know which way was up. She knew, vaguely, where the real world was, and threw herself toward it, heart heavy.

*

Rey woke up coughing, her nose stinging from the cold water somebody had dumped on her. She was on the floor of her cell. Hux loomed over her, face distorted with anger.

“What did you do?” he asked, voice quiet. 

“He’s going where you wanted him to,” Rey said, voice low. “Congratulations.”

Hux reached down, grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her to her knees. “I know that, you little bitch.” He shook her so hard her teeth rattled. “I saw him arranging for his ship. What I want to know is what you said to him.”

“Does it matter? He’ll do what you wanted.” And not only had she played into Hux’s hands, but her Master and stars know how many of her friends would also get caught in the crossfire. Why hadn’t she thought that they might be spying on the Resistance? Why hadn’t she wondered why Hux had chosen this particular place to ambush his enemy.

He shook her again, and she noticed a blaster poking out from the inside pocket of his uniform. He must have been in such a hurry to come to her, he forgot his usual caution. Or maybe he was thinking her too weak. 

Rey looked her captor in the eye and said, “Kicking someone when they’re down? No wonder Snoke prefers him.” 

Hux pulled her even closer, grabbing her throat and squeezing. “You’re outgrowing your usefulness, little whore,” he said. “I wouldn’t be testing me if I were you.”

“Good,” she choked out as her fingers closed around the blaster. She turned it into him and shot. 

Immediately, Hux howled and let her go… only to grab her wrists. She fought him, trying to keep hold of the blaster, as he wrenched her hands to and fro. Wedged between them, the weapon could go off any moment, hurting her as badly as him. She tried to angle it towards the wall, or the ceiling, only to have him break her balance and slam her against the wall. She tried to knee him in the groin, as he lashed out with one hand and struck her across the face. 

It was all it took - one momentary loss of orientation. One moment she was fighting Hux, head reeling. The next, she was sliding to the floor, unsupported, wrists screaming in pain; and he was taking a step back, holding his blaster. She didn’t know what was happening, until she looked down and saw the wound in her stomach.

“Foolish,” Hux said, his breathing labored. She made herself stay calm as she raised her head. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of reducing her to begging. Not now. “You could have walked out of this so easily.”

“Not worth it,” Rey said. She didn’t recognize her own voice. She looked for any signs that she’d done damage to Hux, but to her dismay, it looked like his body armor had taken the brunt of it. “I told him of your plan. He’ll be on his guard. It’s over.”

He went from anger to fury in less than a second. Before Rey could even raise her hands, he’d come up to her and kicked her, straight in the wound. Pain tore through her, making her dumb for a moment. She doubled over, trying to protect herself, as he landed blows on her legs and arms and sides. She waited for him to shoot her and take her out for good, but as quickly as he’d attacked her, he pulled back.

“He has no reason to believe you,” he murmured. “You are Resistance. You are following the people he despises most. No… he wouldn’t believe you.” 

Rey coughed. She didn’t have the strength for a comeback.

“Did he think you were trying to trick him, when you told him the truth?” Hux laughed. “He did, didn’t he? Paranoid fool would invent any conspiracy, even if all you ever tell him is facts. There’s still time to finish him off.” 

He started walking away, then stopped and took out a holocard from his pocket.

“Here,” he said, switching it on and putting it just out of her reach. “Something to entertain you while you expire. Never say I don’t hold up my end of a bargain.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

Daughter of the Air

It seemed like Rey had spent most of her life looking at the stars, trying to read their movement, looking for a sign that somebody was coming for her. Now it seemed like she’d die staring at them, too. 

Hux’s holocard showed a solar system she’d never seen, a planet whose name she didn’t recognize. There was more information, but it was too far away, and her body was already going cold. Even if she could read it, what comfort would it be?

Bleeding out… it was a terrible way to go. She’d seen enough victims in the medical bays of the Resistance to know - those shot in their stomachs took ages to go, and they were in agony throughout. She curled up on herself further, shaking from exhaustion and cold. That was it. She would die, and it was all her fault.

If only…

If only…

Rey screamed. The stars didn’t answer. They never did.

I’m sorry, she thought, at her friends, her Master, the General. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I couldn’t warn you. 

She should have taken Leia on her offer to talk the first time. If she hadn’t been so scared of what she would think, of the gossip… maybe she could have had a different perspective on the problem. Maybe she would have even been forgiven. 

Whore, Hux’s voice resonated in her head. Nothing more and nothing less.

Rey opened her eyes and looked at the stars. Her parents had been so close. So close.

But what guarantee did she have? For all she knew, this was probably something he’d manufactured in his spare time. He would have never let her go. How many times had people lied to her, promising her food and freedom and information, only to use her and toss her aside?

Suddenly, she wasn’t sad anymore. She was furious.

All her life, she’d been used. The smuggler who had abandoned her on Jakku, the scavengers, the merchants, Hux, even the Resistance. She was just a tool, for them to use and then toss aside. Her friends hadn’t even been talking about her disappearance in their comms - why else would Kylo Ren believe she was traveling with her Master?

Kylo Ren. She shuddered. Kylo Ren.

He didn’t believe her. He was waiting for her to make up his mind, though - to follow him or not.

She took off her top tunic and pressed it against her stomach, to slow the bleeding if nothing else. Then she tried to connect with him one last time, praying that he wasn’t too far away.

*

He was resisting her, harder than ever. Rey tried to push through, but the barriers he was throwing out were too great. He was expecting one answer - yes or no. Stay or go. He didn’t have time for any in-depth connecting or introspection. No more mind games.

“Please,” Rey said. “Just let me in.”

“What’s your decision, scavenger?” he asked her. “It’s not that hard to say.”

“You must believe me,” she said. “You’re heading for a trap.”

“No, I’m afraid that won’t do.” She could swear, she heard him sigh. “I’m disappointed. I expected Luke to have improved his teaching. Instead, you’re worse than I ever was.”

Rey shivered. She wouldn’t last long, even with her tourniquet, and he was resisting her. She couldn’t connect with him… not unless she opened herself up completely to him.

Everything inside her clenched, an involuntary reaction against any kind of revealing. She’d resisted showing herself fully to other people - and now she had to trust him of all people to understand her, all of her.

But she was dying. The certainty of it made everything else pale in comparison.

“We’re alike, you and I,” she murmured. “You saw it the first time we met. Do you know why?”

No answer. For all she knew, he wasn’t even listening. But she was so tired of keeping the feelings down. So tired of hiding. The last shreds of her fear gone, she opened her mind to him, opened her heart so that he could see to the very bottom of it.

She felt her skin burning and tasted sand, as she went back to the early years on Jakku. How she barely slept for the first few weeks, jumping at every sound, craving company and yet terrified of coming to other people. How hunger made her weak. How quickly her money ran out, and she got swindled of the few things that she had that were worth trading. How she looked at the sky until her neck and eyes hurt, until she became sick of the sight.

“You were lonely.” She heard his voice, but it seemed distant.

“You know that,” Rey said. 

“There’s more?”

She didn’t bother responding. She just showed him - how nobody would give her a job to earn money. How the scavengers mocked and chased her from all the big ships, saying that she had no place there. How she had to go further than they did, work harder; and even then, she had no way of knowing whether the things she brought back would be worth anything. 

She showed him how, on rough weeks, she took up some of the merchants on their offers, and let them touch her; they’d play with her body in exchange for food and a promise to talk some scavenger to take her on as an apprentice. In the morning, the promises were quickly forgotten, but at least she’d eaten. She had lived another day.

“I hated them, so much,” she said. “Not the merchants - it was all business to them. But my parents…”

Her parents had abandoned her. They’d given her to some stranger - a stranger they’d trusted, but a stranger nonetheless, who had gotten rid of her at the first opportunity to do so - and they’d left her to her fate. They hadn’t come for her, even after years and years. And if she believed Hux, they were still alive, still out there. She would never find them. Never tell them exactly what she thought of them. 

“You were a child,” Kylo Ren said. She wasn’t sure, but it was almost like she heard pity in his voice.

“Not for a long time,” Rey said. She tried to open her eyes and check on her wound, and found the room blurry. “I survived. Half the time, I thought I would hug them when they came back for me. The other half, I wanted to kill them. I wanted to kill them so bad.”

He didn’t respond. She wondered what was going through his mind - was he laughing at her? Mulling over these revelations? 

Or was he remembering his own abandonment? Was he thinking of the hours and days he’d spent locked in his own head with monsters he could not fight and nobody else could see? The monsters who wore the faces of his family, whispering poison, while his real family stood by and did nothing? 

“We’re far more alike than you can imagine,” she said, and let out a dark little chuckle. “Pity we only found out now. We could have swapped notes.”

“Where are you?” he asked, and his voice was loud and insistent.

“Hux is coming for you,” she thought. “Remember that I warned you. If nothing else, remember that I warned you. Don’t let my friends get hurt.”

“Where are you? Rey? Where are you?”

She heard something - a distant rumble, like blasters, or maybe an engine being fired up? She couldn’t tell anymore - she felt like she was drowning.

“Don’t die on me, scavenger! Where are you? Tell me now!”

So insistent. She tried to look at the room, but her vision was blurry. She heard another rumble, and Kylo Ren cursed. She imagined the room as well as she could and showed him the picture, even though she suspected he would be busy at the moment. 

“I know this place,” he said. “Damn it, Hux saw me turn.”

She sighed. Her strength was leaving her fast, and a delirium was settling in. She could swear she heard him repeating her name, telling her that he was coming, but that was impossible.

She was going. She was—


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own Star Wars. This is a fan work only.

She was floating again - not in the underwater garden, and not through the sands of Tatooine. She had no idea which way was up or down, and everything was fuzzy and silver. Was this what it felt like, to finally become one with the Force? She didn’t get a sense of the other beings in the galaxy, but perhaps that would come with time. Maybe when she wasn’t so exhausted. 

At one point, she felt like somebody might be there with her - a brush of another consciousness against hers, but it was so gentle, so fleeting. 

Little by little, she started to get an awareness of her new world, and as she did, shapes began to emerge from the fuzz. She also started to feel her own shape, and was amazed to discover she had borders and limits, places where she ended and the rest of the world began. After a bit longer, she also sensed pain - and with it, the sound of distant conversation. Bursts of connection, punctuating the numbness before it closed in on her again.

At one point, she heard the words “casualty list”. The suspicion crept on her slowly - what if she wasn’t dead after all? It sank slowly, as she realized more and more things - every time she heard something, there was a persistent beeping, like a medical droid or a cocoon working. The voices were also very familiar - Poe and Finn, but also Master Luke, Chewie, even the General.

But why would she be hearing them? She was a captive. She’d died on the dirty floor of an echo chamber. If the First Order had deigned to save her, she would not be getting visits from friends. She doubted she’d be allowed to regain consciousness. For all she knew, this was all a mind game from Snoke, to break her like he did Kylo Ren.

Maybe he needed another Force-sensitive puppet. One that didn’t have a pesky free will.

“Rey! Rey! I think I saw her move!” How strange. It really did sound a lot like Finn.

“Up the painkillers. She’s raving.”

“No,” Rey said, or at least she thought she did. Her voice wasn’t working. “No… drugs.”

“Don’t give her that. Didn’t you hear?”

“She’s been traumatized,” Luke - or someone who sounded like him - said. “If she woke now, she’d go into shock.”

No, she would not. But nobody seemed interested in her opinion, it seemed. The numbness wrapped itself around her and pulled her back down.

*

The next time she regained consciousness - or something like it - she felt that there were people on either side of her bed, holding her hands. Panicking that the First Order was about to do something to her, she tried fighting them. She heard cries - they were making themselves sound like Finn and Poe now - and another call, this time for tranquilizers. They spoke gently to her, even as she tensed every muscle in her body, trying to keep them from injecting her. When she passed out, she could swear she felt someone stroke her hair. 

*

A mind game. It’s all a mind game. The tenderness, the softness, her friends visiting her - it couldn’t be real. Nobody had ever been so kind to her. Nobody had ever cared so much. She was practicing feigning sleep, feigning relaxation, so that she’d have enough strength to attempt an escape. It would be hard - they had someone with her at all times. But she would try it. She wouldn’t let them control her.

A sigh. At first she thought it was Master Luke’s sound-alike, until she realized the tone of voice was wrong. 

Rey made herself small and still. Maybe they wouldn’t notice. Maybe they’d think they imagined things.

“Enough already.” The voice was everywhere and nowhere, and she knew it well. “You’re safe, scavenger. Go to sleep.”

“Where are you?” she asked, turning. 

Another sigh, more exasperated now. “I shouldn’t tell you, since you were so unhelpful when I asked you that. Nowhere near you, at any rate.” There was no mistaking that tone. Rey tried to speak, but he interrupted her again. “You’re at a Resistance base and getting a princess treatment. Let your drugs work - you’re keeping me up, too.”

She drifted off before she could formulate a retort.

*

After some more time - a week in a medical cocoon, she would learn - they let her regain consciousness for longer periods of time, and she got to see for herself how real all of her visitors had been. The general scolded her for her recklessly disappearing. Chewie scolded her harder. Finn said that he was just glad she was okay. Poe grinned and nodded.

Master Luke didn’t speak to her for a long time. When he did, all he said was that she had a lot of punishment to look forward to, and thus had to preserve her strength.

Nobody asked her about what had happened to her while she’d been gone. It wasn’t until another week later, when she was cleared to go on walks - that she learned why.

“I didn’t even know how it happened,” Poe told her as they walked in the garden, far from the medical droids and their enhanced hearing. “One moment we were crossing the quadrant, and then the next we saw fire in the distance. At first we thought the First Order had ambushed us, but before we could counter-attack, your ship just swooped in on them from behind and opened fire.”

Rey made a noncommittal noise. She remembered doing nothing of the sort, but at least she could blame any gaps on the medical coma.

She did find out she’d spent far less time with Hux than she thought she had. It felt like she’d spent months in captivity. Poe, however, seemed to think she’d only been gone a couple of weeks. 

“Of course we were worried,” he said. “You really should tell us next time you go looking for your parents. We can help you, you know.”

“I told you that?” Rey asked.

Poe pursed his lips. She was starting to wonder what horrible thing she’d said while she’d been raving, when she noticed her friend was blushing. 

“I heard your distress call first,” he admitted finally. “So I was the first to pull you out of your ship. I had to take your coat off, to put pressure on your wound. Something fell out of your pocket.”

And he produced the holocard that Hux had tossed her, before abandoning her. For a second, she didn’t know what to say, she was too shocked. 

“Nobody blames you,” Poe said, mistaking her silence for anger, or embarrassment. “I even think Luke feels a little bit bad, for not figuring out that about you. Of course you’d want to find them. But you don’t have to do it on your own, Rey.”

“Thank you,” she said, feeling a little bit choked up. “I… that means a lot. And I’m sorry I made you worry.”

Poe gave her a quick one-armed hug. “Never apologize. We’re here for one another. Always.”

Now she really was crying. Poe went quiet for a while, just walking while she weathered out the feeling. When she felt ready, they went back to the medical bay.

“One thing I don’t get,” Poe said, as he dropped her off into her room. “How did you know where we were? Were you listening in on the comms?”

Rey hesitated. She could say that… and then pretend that she’d seen the First Order ships by accident. It could happen. 

But her timing would have been a little too perfect. So she lied. “I was listening in on theirs, actually. I found the frequency by chance, and managed to crack the code. Dumb luck, really.”

“Huh,” Poe said. “Shame the black box got totaled. We could have used that code.”

Rey tried to rearrange her expression into something more resembling remorse. 

“Well, at any rate, I’m glad your shooting lessons have been paying off. That maneuver you pulled… it was impressive. You took out Hux, did you know? He’s the second biggest bastard in Snoke’s army… after Kylo Ren, of course.”

She nodded, while her heart started pounding double time. She could tell Poe wanted more, and she didn’t have it in her to lie to him any more that day. 

So she feigned exhaustion. It was painful, because he deserved the truth - all her friends did.

And they’ll have it, she reminded herself, when he left. Later. As soon as I figure it out myself.

Because there were too many things she didn’t understand. Too many variables. And she was afraid to reach out to the only person who might know them.

Afraid… and here she was, thinking she was beyond fear. Was it only in the face of death that she lost her reserve completely?

Tentatively, she tried expanding her awareness. She didn’t expect anything - after all, this was a Resistance territory, and he couldn’t possibly be anywhere nearby. 

“As always, giving me too little credit, scavenger,” he spoke inside her mind.

Rey took a deep breath, then composed herself in case anybody walked into her room. Then she looked inward.

Kylo Ren was at the helm of a ship - a very large ship, full of Stormtroopers, but she didn’t feel Snoke’s presence at all. That was promising. 

“Speak freely,” he told her. “There isn’t a person near that can hear us.”

“Near you, maybe,” Rey said. Then, suddenly feeling shy, she tried to dance around the topic. “Did you really stage everything to look like I took out Hux?”

“You did take him out,” he said. “The bastard bled out while he was trying to shoot me down from the sky. It was the easiest ambush I’ve ever staged.”

So bloody arrogant. And yet… 

He could have kept her captive. He could have interrogated her, abused her, broken her. Instead, he brought her to her friends. He must have hidden on the asteroid where he’d staged her ship to have crashed, and waited until she had been taken away before returning himself. It must have taken hours.

“You’re overthinking things again, scavenger,” he said. 

“Are you listening to my thoughts?” 

“I don’t have to. You’re too predictable.”

Rey considered punching him. Even if it wasn’t a physical contact, surely it would hurt. Just a little.

“Are you satisfied now?” he asked. “Because if you don’t mind me saying, you look like you need sleep.”

She took a deep breath. Oh, she was very ready to leave this guy and go back to the people she cared for. But… 

She couldn’t hate him anymore. If they met, they would fight, and maybe one of them would win. Maybe they would hurt each other badly. Or maybe they wouldn’t even draw their weapons. She looked at him, and she didn’t know what to think. He was her enemy, and he had saved her. He had killed so many, destroyed cities and planets; he had also spared her, and had made sure that this new lead to where her parents were hadn’t been lost. 

He was not of the Resistance. He was not completely of the First Order, either. And so was she.

And they’d keep locking horns in the middle, until one or both grew tired, and laid down their weapons. When that day came, Rey didn’t want to have to say this for the first time.

“I don’t know why you saved my life,” she said. “But thank you.”

Kylo Ren was silent for a long time. She prepared to leave, giving up on receiving an answer, when he said, softly:

“Likewise, Rey. Likewise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> I don't live in the USA. I don't have much of a platform. I'm not able to attend any marches.
> 
> But I want to use whatever platform I have to spread information and help. I have listed a few links and organisations here and at some of my other fics. If my work gives you pleasure, please donate. Sign petitions. Call your elected representatives, if you are in the USA. Keep yourselves informed and alert if you aren't.
> 
> Please. Thank you.
> 
> Organizations, Petitions & Go Fund Me:  
(these links come from Bailey Sarians latest video, she had great links so I'll use the same, go check out her video right here: https://youtu.be/iig8BEP-sOw )  
Color Of Change - https://colorofchange.org/  
Movement For Black Lives - https://m4bl.org/  
NAACP - https://www.naacpldf.org/  
Undocublack -https://undocublack.org/  
Petition for George Floyd - https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?utm_source=brand_us&utm_medium=media  
Minnesota Freedom Fun - https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/  
Reclaim The Block - https://secure.everyaction.com/zae4prEeKESHBy0MKXTIcQ2  
Go Fund Me For George Floyd Family - https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd


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